“Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” — Maria Montessori.
It applies to adults, too.
We crush people’s spirits when we take over for them. We convey to them, “You can’t do it. I’ll do it for you.”
We mask it as altruism, benevolence, or kindness. We virtue signal to others that we’re nice and kind, just look at how nice and kind we are. That’s all B.S. It’s control. Kindness has nothing to do with it.
Nowhere is this uglier than with our government taking over for people. “We’ll take care of your medical expenses. We’ll choose your doctors and treatments for you. College–no problem, we’ll cover it all. Grad school too. We’ve got this. It’s all for you. Let’s bring in people from other countries too. We’ll take care of them all!”
It’s sinister, evil and ugly. It goes against everything human nature requires. You are not helping people by refusing to let them go. Making people dependent on you is no different from making them your slave. We live in morally inverted times because our entire approach to human nature, and human psychology, is wrong. It’s an orgy of conspicuous compassion. It’s destructive and it’s slowly killing everything.
Until or unless we get this right, things will continue to get worse. Whether it’s an individual child or adult, or an entire society, we’re talking about … the principle is the same.
You don’t build confidence in others by taking over for people. If you think so, you’re neurotic and pathological. And you’re not helping a soul.
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