Daddy Obama and His Dysfunctional Children

What Children Say to Parents: Mommy, I want it, I want it! Mommy, Daddy give it to me!

Rational Parent:  You can’t have everything you want.


What Adults Say to Daddy Obama: Give me my Medicare!

Don’t you dare touch it! Preserve it and expand it — now!

Daddy Obama: Of course you’ll have it. You’ll always have everything you want. Just let me go after the bad guys, the Republicans, and the rich guys. They’re the ones keeping it from you. Deficit? Not to worry. That’s just a myth designed to take away your Medicare.


What Children Say to Parents: Mommy, Daddy, are we there yet?

Rational Parent: No, but we will be. It takes time to drive. We’re still three hours away. Take a nap or read a book.

What Adults Say to Daddy Obama: Well, is the budget balanced yet? What’s taking so long?

Daddy Obama: It’s the Republicans. And it’s George Bush’s fault. They won’t let me raise taxes. And they won’t let me put even more in the budget than is already there. They won’t let me expand social programs. All I need is a pen, and it’s law. But they’re mean, and they won’t let me. It’s a shame. Your wish, any wish at all, is my command. All I need is unlimited power. You can trust me with it. Will you give it to me?


What Children Say to Parents: Mommy, Daddy, why can’t we have a big car and a big house?

Rational Parent: Not everyone can afford these things. In fact, most people cannot. Even some people who have them can’t really afford them. You have to live within your means.

What Adults Say to Daddy Obama: I’m entitled to the American Dream. I’m entitled to more than I have. What are you doing about it?

Daddy Obama: You’re entitled to much more than you have. You work so hard, you suffer so much. Nobody has ever suffered like you. You’re worse off than anybody in all of human history. Oprah, please hand me some tissues. Under my watch, you’re going to get everything you ever wanted or dreamed. First we have to save Medicare from those evil Republicans. Next, we have to raise taxes to get back all that money George Bush stole from the poor to give to the rich. That’s just a beginning. You cannot imagine the days of gold and riches that lie ahead, if I’m only left free to do what I want with my power. Don’t worry about rising unemployment, rising inflation or anything else. I’m going to take care of you and get you everything you need.


What Children Say to Parents: Mommy, Daddy, he’s mean! He’s being mean to me!!

Rational Parent: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.

What Adults Say to Daddy Obama: Fox News! The Internet! They’re spouting hatred!

Daddy Obama: You’re right. Be patient. I can’t just shut down Fox News. That wouldn’t look good, and it would arouse a lot of anger. Just let me work my charms and use my pull with the members of the FCC who agree with us that right-wing opponents are the real terrorists. We’ve already got principled control over the Internet. We’re justifying that with economics, and later on we’ll go in and gradually regulate content. And sooner or later we’ll find an excuse to do something about Fox News’ license to broadcast. Trust me on this one. Just give me a little more time. And put those Democrats back in the House. We’ll keep the Senate, and as it looks now I’ll have (at least) one more term.


What Children Say to Parents: Mommy, Daddy can I have $20 right now? I want something.

Rational Parent: Money doesn’t just grow on trees. You have to earn it. What can you do to earn it?

What Adults Say to Daddy Obama: I NEED more money. It’s not fair how others are so rich and comfortable and I have to struggle. I deserve what they have!

Daddy Obama: Help is on the way.


What Children Say to Parents: I don’t like what you’re doing! You’re mean! (Stamp, pout.)

Rational Parent: When you’re ready, we’ll discuss this. I’m not being mean, but when you prove to me I’m wrong about something, I’ll listen. Screaming is not proof.

What Adults Say to Daddy Obama: We have serious questions about some of your policies. The economy isn’t getting better.

Daddy Obama: Did you contribute to my campaign? If you didn’t, you can forget federal aid for anything. Put up or shut up. Oh, and by the way: Hope and change! Change is working beautifully. Keep it going.