You’re not responsible for what someone tells you to do — but you are responsible if you chose to listen. If someone is wrong, the error is their own, but your own error lies in that you listened to them. If you loved someone that you now say you shouldn’t have loved, then the question is why did you make such a mistake? You must understand your mistakes if you’re not to repeat them. The point of this is not to be “self-blaming.” The point is to remain in charge of your mind and, therefore, your life. It’s sickening to see people blame others for what are partially, or even totally, their own errors. But the one harmed the most by this is the one doing the blaming. Blaming others for your errors implies that you have no mind, and that you’re indifferent to the functioning of your own mind –including when it lapses or errs. The care and feeding of your mind is the most important responsibility you have. Tending to your errors, finding out their nature and cause, is an act of self-preservation. Stop blaming others, not primarily out of fairness to them, but primarily for your own well-being.