Fifty-four years ago when Grateful Dead guitarist Jerry Garcia wrote those words, he probably couldn’t have imagined they’d end up (slightly modified) as the title of a self-help column. In Delaware’s Sussex County, yet!
Well, for those of you who are counting, I’d like to take a moment to tell you that this is my 1000th column for the Delaware Wave. Over the last 19 years I’ve been through several editors, managers, etc., and I’m here to tell you that you’d be hard pressed to find a nicer bunch of folks than their able staff. I’m equally gratified by the hundreds (and hundreds!) of emails, calls and texts I’ve received from you, the readers. Many of your calls start with something like, “You don’t have to call me back, but….” And I must admit that calling everybody back would be just about impossible, but I wish I could return all those calls and notes just to say “Thanks” for taking the time to comment on the latest topic on this page.
Not all the comments are positive, either. And that’s a good thing. As a mental health professional, my aim is to challenge people to think — whether it’s in the quiet of my office or in the public forum of a newspaper. There’s no rule that says everybody has to agree with me. (I wouldn’t be doing my job if they did.) In fact, many of your reactions, both negative and positive, end up inspiring new topics. So, as the late crooner Dean Martin used to say, “Keep those cards and letters coming in!”
The subjects that generate the most questions are those that deal with relationships, dysfunctional behavior, family interactions and the like. People are always curious to know more about these things. Dr. Richard Taflinger, of the Edward R. Murrow School of Communication at Washington State University, writes, “Curiosity is one of the most important aspects of life. It is through curiosity, a desire to find out something, that life promotes itself, keeps itself alive, reproduces itself, and gathers resources more effectively. A lack of curiosity can lead to a lack of life….”
Many different species exhibit curiosity, primarily driven by the need to eat — and to avoid being eaten. Human curiosity, however, when combined with our capacity for thinking in abstract terms, gives rise to the unique qualities of fantasy, inventiveness and imagination. Abstract thinking can also allow fantasy and imagination to “leak” into the realm of reality. As we interpret data from our senses, our perception of that data can be altered, or distorted, by our thoughts and fantasies. A prime example is the comment, “He only hears what he wants to hear.” Taken to its ultimate conclusion, this conflict between reality and feelings can lead to psychosis, where a person loses the ability to distinguish between what is imagined and what is real.
Because it’s not restricted by external events, our imagination can bring us enjoyment and pleasure. But that very lack of outside limitations can also cause us pain and unhappiness. People whose curiosity and imaginations are particularly vivid can suffer from imagined threats and dangers. Psychosomatic illnesses can be manifestations of imaginary perils. One interesting psychiatric syndrome arising from fantasy-gone-wild is called folie à deux. Though rare, this condition involves a psychosis or a paranoid belief being transmitted from one person to another. Also referred to as “shared psychotic disorder,” it can affect families and larger groups of people in cases of cults or mass hysteria.
The flip side is that fantasies can also generate inspiration for new inventions, business ideas and discoveries that can advance the human condition. Dr. Taflinger says that curiosity is “…a search for an immediate answer to an immediate need. For humans, [it’s] a constant search for answers.” In spite of the psychological pitfalls that may lurk in the shadowy outskirts of reality, the positive benefits of applying our imaginations to our everyday lives far outweigh the negatives.
So, as my little corner of the Delaware Wave turns a thousand weeks old, I encourage you to keep staying in touch if something you read here arouses your curiosity. Not only is it a healthy exercise in thinking, but it also helps me come up with new and (hopefully) interesting topics in my endeavor to prove, week after week, that Life is, indeed, a Beach.