Stop trying to figure out crazy. It’s called crazy for a reason.
It makes no logical sense to use reason — and logic — to grasp logical reasons for irrationality. It’s a contradiction in terms even to try!
The person you’re trying to figure out may seem rational in other respects. And in many respects, most people are.
However, it’s not the conclusions, emotions or behaviors themselves that make a person “crazy”. It’s faulty premises, in most cases.
Here’s an example of a faulty premise:
Consider a person who drinks too much. It’s obviously irrational and self-defeating behavior. The over-drinker usually knows it, and either evades it (via denial) or admits to a struggle with it.
The over-drinking comes from faulty premises. An example of a faulty premise? “I can escape suffering by altering my mind.” It’s true, to a point. But you don’t escape reality by temporarily altering your mental state. Reality stays what it is throughout your drunkenness, and it’s there waiting for you when you return to sobriety. And you’re less equipped to deal with it than ever. Many different faulty premises can lead to the erroneous thinking and irrational behavior of drinking too much. My point: It starts with faulty premises.
Another example of a faulty premise: “If I love him enough, he’ll change.” No he won’t. Love is an expression of validation for a person as he is. If you love someone, you’re conveying the message, “I accept you as you are. I value you as you are. I want you to stay as you are.” If you love someone with the hidden agenda of, “I love you for what you MIGHT be,” then it’s a form of deception. It cannot work. It confuses, hurts and ultimately angers the person you’re deceiving. And it should!
People often think behavioral or mental change is easier than it is. We live in the age of instant gratification and immediate solutions. It’s usually very, very hard to change a mind — including your own, when it’s your subconscious. And it’s hopeless if you don’t know the mind’s faulty premises. Once you know your faulty premises (a good therapist can help you), then the stage is set for change. But change can still be very rough, and very hard.
If you accept this fact — paradoxically — the process we call living becomes a whole lot easier.
Follow Dr. Hurd on Facebook. Search under “Michael Hurd” (Rehoboth Beach DE). Get up-to-the-minute postings, recommended articles and links, and engage in back-and-forth discussion with Dr. Hurd on topics of interest. Also follow Dr. Hurd on Twitter at @MichaelJHurd1, and see “Michael Hurd” on MeWe.