Government Mandated Refis for All…Hooray!

Have you heard the latest idea to come out of Washington D.C. and the Obama Administration? Pass a law requiring banks to let everyone automatically refinance their houses at the current low interest rates.

Wow, that Obama and his cohorts are such geniuses. Why didn’t we think of this before?

There’s one thing I don’t understand, though. If the government can single-handedly, in one fell swoop, give everyone a low interest mortgage, regardless of circumstances, then why can’t government just give everyone a house? I know that didn’t work out too well in Cuba, Communist China or Soviet Russia, back in the day. But this is America. And we have Obama. All things are possible now.

Yes, there ought to be a law. There ought to be a law that everyone should have a house. Maybe not everyone wants or needs a house. Some people are happy with apartments or condos, after all. But they should have access to a house anyway. And of course their house or condo should be free. Maybe not everyone can afford a house, but they should have one anyway.

I realize that some people will treat their houses well, and some will not. But none of this is the government’s business. The government’s business is to provide things. What people do with those things once they have them is up to them. This is America, after all. It’s the land of the free. People should be free to have what they want and need. And, yes, it should all be free. I know that sounds a bit simplistic and extreme, maybe even un-American. But think about it. Government already provides public schools, retirement insurance, health care, food stamps, welfare and other benefits, pretty much free and on demand. Everyone has a right to have them paid for, whether others care to pay for them or not. (It’s only the rich, anyway. People who make $201,000 a year or higher should have to pay for whatever I want or I need.)

The more I think about it, the more I’m not so sure Obama is the nicest guy in the world. Gee, he sure is super. But he could be better. On the one hand, he’s proposing that people have access, on demand and by right, to health care and low interest mortgages. But why are we stopping at that? Why, Obama’s Republican opponents and even a few Democrats — and these are truly meanies — are suggesting that it will damage the economy, and bust the government’s budget, to back up the banks for giving everyone an overnight refi. They’re actually suggesting that some people get the refi, while others don’t. But that’s mean and unfair. Everyone should have equal rights in America. If there’s a right to a low interest mortgage, then it’s an equal right for everyone. Well, at least if you make under $201,000 a year.

The same applies to health care. I don’t understand why we have that complicated ObamaCare law. Why didn’t we just pass a single payer system for everyone? Free health care, on demand and as a right for everyone. Sure, it might multiply our debt by the hundreds of trillions of dollars overnight. But so what? Our debt has gone into the trillions over just 3-4 short years and nothing has happened. Why the stock market is soaring. And so long as we stop counting the growing number of people who have given up on employment, the unemployment rate is going down. Or at least staying steady.

Most of us are sick of waiting for the real estate market to come back. You see those admirable Occupy Wall Street people on the news. We have a right to get our needs met right now! By George, I’m some kind of steamed up about my rights, the more I think about it. How dare anyone make a million dollars while I have to pay a 6 percent interest rate on my mortgage rather than a 4 percent interest rate. I have a right to a 4 percent interest rate! In fact, I have a right to no interest rate. Who invented interest anyway? Get Barack on the phone. Or maybe Joe Biden. He’s such a sweet guy. And brainy too. I’d sure have a beer with him, anytime.

Government has already passed a lot of laws to enable people to pay off their mortgages or to force the banks to delay foreclosure. That’s a start, but I don’t understand…why so wimpy? If government has the power to do these things, government surely has the right and the power to do more. I agree, the next logical step is to give people automatic refis. But we’ve got to go further.

It seems to me that if we got a government takeover of medical care, we could also have a government takeover of the real estate market. Government can step in and do for housing what it did for health care. Goodness knows, there would be no health care without Medicare. And there would be no education without public schools. Why have all these complicated laws regulating the bank industry? These greedy, selfish bank executives are never going to act in the national interest anyway. They have no incentive to do anything but please themselves, customers be damned. The government is the one who cares. The government has made the mortgage industry more rational than it otherwise would have been, thanks mainly to Obama and people like Barney Frank. Who can dispute that everything is better than it was 3-4 years ago? Why can’t the government just take the whole thing over?

It all boils down to money. But government owns money. Government controls the money supply, as well as interest rates, through the Federal Reserve. Tim Geithner and Ben Bernanke are the ones with the real power. And they’re the ones we must trust. As Bernanke himself said on a 60 Minutes interview not long ago, he can create more money any time the U.S. needs it, and whenever it makes sense. Currency is controlled by the government and by our politicians. We have smart politicians finally, people like Barack and Tim Geithner who really do know what to do. Everything’s getting better every day, so long as you look at the numbers the right way. What’s the problem with a little more government to make things just right?

Excuse me now. I have an errand to run in my battery-operated, government-subsidized Chevy Volt. God bless Obama. It’s hard to believe I have the honor of living on the same planet with him, breathing the very same oxygen that he breathes.