To love someone, you must love them as they are. You have to honestly and sincerely love them as they are. If you honestly can’t, then you can’t force it or fake it. Appeals to duty or rationalization (‘Well, I married him, so I should love him’) won’t work either, no matter how hard or long they’re tried. One, two, ten, twenty or fifty years will not change the situation. You either love the person as he is—his full personality, the ‘whole package’—or you don’t. Love is very absolute in that sense.