Life Isn’t Fair! Or Is It?

Q: I have friends who are in relationships, but have no qualms about cheating on their partners. Still, they are able to keep their relationships. Me, however, who would be respectful of my partner, and would never lie, does not have one. It doesn’t seem fair; it seems like those who are less deserving are more fortunate.

A: But it IS fair, in this sense: Those who lie and cheat in their personal relationships are by definition faking those relationships. This means they will never have anything but shallow, superficial relationships that eventually end because lies almost always come out (and nobody likes being lied to — not even shallow, superficial, lying people). And until those lies do come out, they are treated to superficial fakeness. Is this what you envy? I think you might be assuming that these liars and cheaters have more than they really do. Also, you’re spending so much time being negative that you become a more negative person—and thereby less attractive to someone who would be positive and honest. Plus: Why are you friends with people who lie and cheat? Haven’t you stopped to consider what that does to you? No wonder you feel like life is such a dark and unfair place. Keep different friends. And until you find better ones, stay home, get a pet and read a good book!