A fear of being alone isn’t the same as a natural preference to have friends, and connection. An irrational fear of being alone means you don’t like yourself. So long as you don’t like yourself, you won’t have satisfactory connection. For one thing, you won’t try to connect with others. You’ll feel, “I’m not OK, so how can someone else like me?” If someone else happens to show evidence of liking you, you’ll start to wonder what’s wrong with them for liking you. In order to have, and enjoy, the company of others, you must first enjoy the company of yourself. When you reach the point that you know you’d rather do something by yourself than with someone you dislike, you know you’re on the right track. If you find yourself lonely, it’s wrong to ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me? Why does nobody like me?” It’s better to ask yourself, “What good qualities about myself am I ignoring, and keeping dormant, so that nobody else has a chance to get to experience them?” Loneliness is often a vicious cycle. You can break the cycle if you quit assuming something is wrong or different about you. Instead, view it as a public relations problem. You have good qualities to offer many other people. Stop hiding those qualities and get them out there. And first identify what they are.