One Basic Rule in Love (David Seabury)

Marry only when the other person seems lovely to you.

Marry when you love, not when you would sacrifice for him, or wish to possess him.

When those twin evils, self-denial and possessiveness, enter a human relation, hell comes with them, and love flies out the door.

There is one basic rule in love: Be yourself, always.

Start by being so; it’s your only protection.

Do nothing to win a man or woman that is contrary to yourself, for you’ll only win trouble if you do.

Never become an appendage to a marriage partner.

Keep your native hungers, your intellectual values.

You belong to life first, to your partner only insofar as he or she doesn’t try to possess you.

Most important of all, never marry a person who can’t remain a sweetheart, and with whom you wouldn’t want to be, even if you didn’t have the protection of marriage.

Go with your love, and to your love.

— David Seabury, from “The Art of Selfishness”

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