Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” Wise words, and they work both ways. For example, if you underestimate your potential, or if … Continue reading
Category: Life’s a Beach!
Why Relive your Childhood Issues?
Interestingly enough, abandonment is a fairly common topic of conversation in the offices of helping professionals, physicians and others. Let’s take a closer look at what is meant by “abandonment issues.” In general, it has to do with childhood experiences. … Continue reading
How to Live Rationally in a Divided Society
Barely a day goes by that I don’t receive notes from readers asking how to discuss emotional issues rationally; politics in particular. One of the first tools I suggest it to ask questions. Don’t ask hostile questions; just honest, thoughtfully … Continue reading
Don’t Let Toxic People Wear You Down!
One of the subjects most often brought up with therapists, life coaches and even medical doctors is how to deal with toxic, psychologically damaging relationships. Kristen Fuller, M.D., writes: “I myself had all the tools to avoid a toxic relationship, … Continue reading
Lying is Like Drug Addiction
This subject has always fascinated me, and it happens in everyday life. People get mad if you tell them the truth about how they look, or how they did. It seems in many cases that they don’t want the truth; … Continue reading
You Don’t Owe Anybody Unless You Choose To
It’s hard to make it through a day without hearing about “entitlement” – especially in a negative context. To be entitled simply means that one believes that he or she deserves something. A sense of entitlement can be valid, i.e., … Continue reading
The Up-Side to Being Alone
A “Life’s a Beach” reader asked me the difference between an “irrational” (her words) avoidance of people versus true and healthy solitude. To figure out what’s irrational, you have to back up and define what kinds of interactions with other … Continue reading
The Dangers of ‘Blaming the Victim’
We’ve all heard the phrase, “blaming the victim.” Normally, this expression applies when the actual victim of a crime is blamed for something he or she did not cause. Things have become so backwards in our crazy culture that we … Continue reading
Beware the Pitfalls of Entitlement
Over the years, I’ve seen many relationships that are not everything they could be. Marriages routinely end in chronic dissatisfaction and divorce. More and more I see people treating one another poorly. I suspect that one reason for this mistaken … Continue reading
The Competition of Interruption
It’s a rare couple I see that doesn’t end up interrupting one another when things get emotional in a session. Indeed, it’s no secret that being interrupted can be very annoying. Is it just rudeness? Or is it something more? … Continue reading
Nobody Can Do Our Thinking For Us
People talk about the importance of humility. For example, reformed alcoholics or drug addicts will say, “Until I learned humility, I could not become sober.” They’re certainly on to something profound and important here, but is it really humility that … Continue reading
“Weather Anxiety”
Living at the beach is one of the best things in my life, though it’s no secret that the probability of rough weather tends to increase when you live adjacent to an ocean. Given the unique coastal geography of our … Continue reading